(A silver Hourglass is shown on the screen with the Pain For Pride Se7en logo and “37 Days” written in its blue sand that slowly falls)
(Showdown intro plays; featuring “Let Em Know” by Alien Ant Farm)
(Camera cuts to the Showdown Arena as silver pyro explodes all across the stage before capping off with one final explosion that sends the packed arena crowd into a frenzy of cheers)
Mak: We’re on a dangerous road in which boys become men and girls become Masters! This is the road to Pain For Pride and our very last stop is JUST on the horizon in Dia Del Diablo, but before then, WELCOME ONE AND ALL TO EAW’S LONGEST RUNNING WEEKLY EPISODIC SHOW AND BROUGHT TO YOU BY EAW’S NUMBER 1 LEGEND HIMSELF - MOI - THIS! IS! SHOWDOWN!!
(Camera cuts to Mak at the announce table with Masters)
Mak: Here to get me fresh water and towels whenever I’m getting too sweaty being stuck next to a Nazi, I’m here along-side a guy who once did some stuff in EAW that I can’t quite remember, Masters!
Masters: Uh, thanks for that… Almost introduction. I’d make insult you back, but I figured if you’re going to keep telling yourself you’re the number 1 Legend in this company after being retired for nearly 5 years, I figure I’d better just let it slide.
Mak: My, how compassionate for a German. Are you sure this isn’t just some ploy to get me to step into your “special shower”?
Masters: Ahem, moving on… Yes, this IS indeed the final Showdown before the last true stop on the road to Pain For Pride and what a show Dia Del Diablo is, but tonight will be no slouch in its own right as we’ve got a huge three on three tag team match between the participants of the much-anticipated Hellfire No Way Out match at Dia Del Diablo, as well as the in-ring return of Scott Diamond!
Mak: Speaking of which…
(“In The Air Tonight” by Phil Collins plays all throughout the arena as Albert Hitchman proudly escorts a determined Scott Diamond out to the stage)
Announcer: The following contest is a triple threat match and is scheduled for ONE fall!.... First, making his way to the ring, accompanied by Albert Hitchman!.... Weighing in at 280 pounds!.... HE IS “THE PERFECT STORM”.... SCOTT DIIIIIAAAAAAMMMMMOOOONNNDDDDD!!!.....
Mak: You can tell somebody’s gonna get hurt! This match was made after a pissed off Scott decided to take his aggressions out on two random victims in Terry Chambers and Nemesis as they were scheduled for a match last week…
(Replay is shown of Scott Diamond brutally attacking Terry Chambers and Nemesis before their match began last week and putting both men through announce tables)
(“Broken Down” by Sevendust plays all throughout the arena as Nemesis eccentrically makes his way out to the stage)
Announcer: And his opponents!.... First, making his way to the ring…. From Valley Stream, New York!.... Weighing in at 260 pounds!.... NEEEEMMMMEEEEEESSSSIIIIIISSSSSS!!!....
(“I Dare You” by Shinedown plays all throughout the arena as Terry Chambers proudly makes his way out to the stage with his Young Lions Cup in hand)
Announcer: And lastly!.... Making his way to the ring…. From Detroit, Michigan!.... Weighing in at 287 pounds!.... HE IS THE E-A-W YOUNG LIONS CUP HOLDER….. TERRY CHHHHHAAAAAAMMMMMBBBEEERRRSSS!!!....
(DING! DING! DING!)
Masters: SCOTT WITH AN IMMEDIATE DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE THAT TAKES BOTH MEN DOWN WITH GREAT FORCE! Scott is on a mission to prove his dominance and he’s wasting absolutely NO time! Terry scrambles to his feet in the nearest corner as Scott rushes in and NAILS him with a devastating elbow off the jaw! Scott hits Terry with an immediate belly to belly suplex that sends Terry crashing into Nemesis as both men once again find themselves downed on the canvas! Nemesis is now the one looking to get to his feet here, but he’s already found himself in the grip of his carnivore that is Scott Diamond! KNEE TO THE FACE! ANOTHER KNEE TO THE FACE! ANOTHER! ANOTHER! SCOTT PULLS NEMESIS IN AND PICKS HIM UP ON HIS SHOULDERS! POWERBOMB CONNECTS AS NEMESIS’ BODY IS DRIVEN INTO A DOWNED TERRY CHAMBERS! SCOTT LIFTS NEMESIS BACK UP! SECOND POWERBOMB AS NEMESIS LANDS ON TERRY!! NEMESIS IS PULLED BACK UP YET AGAIN! THIRD POWERBOMB CONNECTS, BUT TERRY MANAGES TO ROLL OUT OF THE WAY THIS TIME!!!
Mak: This guy, Scott Diamond, is an absolute BEAST! Terry is in a great deal of pain here as he rushes over to the ropes to aid him back to his feet.. SCOTT RUSHES IN WITH A KNEE TO THE RIBS OF TERRY! HUGE CLOTHESLINE SENDS TERRY OVER THE ROPES AND CRASHING HARD ON THE OUTSIDE! Scott’s not finished with him yet! Albert Hitchman is smiling like a child on Christmas Day as Scott exits to the outside and grabs a hold of a battered Terry Chambers… HE SENDS TERRY SKULL-FIRST INTO THE STEEL STEPS ON THE OUTSIDE! HOLD ON! NEMESIS COMES RUSHING IN FROM THE RING! SUICIDE DIVE!!! HE’S CAUGHT! SCOTT’S CAUGHT NEMESIS AS HE LIFTS HIM ONTO HIS SHOULDERS!! VORTEX THROUGH THE SPANISH ANNOUNCE TABLE!!!!! NEMESIS IS DECIMATED HERE!!
Masters: Scott looks like he’s about ready to end it here! Scott grabs a hold of a broken Nemesis and sends his limp body rolling back into the ring… Scott slides in and pulls Nemesis up.. HE’S GOT HIM UP ON HIS SHOULDERS! TERRY’S BACK IN THIS AS HE SLIDES INTO THE RING AND CHARGES! SCOTT PICKS TERRY UP ON HIS SHOULDERS AS WELL!! LOOK AT THIS! HE’S GOT BOTH HIM UP THERE!! WHAT POWER!! VORTEX!!!!! BOTH NEMESIS AND TERRY CHAMBERS ARE SENT CRASHING AND BURNING ON THE CANVAS WITH A DEVASTATING VORTEX ON BOTH OF THEM AT THE SAME TIME!!!! SCOTT PLACES A FOOT ON THE CHEST OF TERRY FOR A VERY NONCHALANT COVER!
Referee: ONE!!!!!........ TWO!!!!!!!!!.......... THREE!!!!!!!!!!!
(“In The Air Tonight” by Phil Collins plays all throughout the arena as Scott Diamond’s right hand is raised in victory while Albert Hitchman enters the ring with a microphone in hand)
Mak: What an absolutely stunning display of power and dominance that we have just witnessed from Scott Diamond tonight in his first Showdown bout in a long time! He began his new journey by shockingly taking out Cy Henderson, then challenging Mikado Sekaiichi for the World Heavyweight Championship, and now he’s just torn through these two young up and comers as if they were tissue paper!
Albert: I can feel it coming in the air tonight… Can you, Sekaiichi?
(“In The Air Tonight” fades out as a wickedly-smiling Albert Hitchman points to Scott Diamond)
Albert: Can you feel it coming? The end of your smooth sailing? The end of your overrated King of Extreme sovereign? The breaking of your time as EAW’s World’s Champion? Mikado Sekaiichi, you may be a very clever man and you may even have a brilliant mind, but what you lack is the talent that has brought this company to its KNEES at my client, Scott Diamond’s feet! You lack the true power to be a King that can defend himself! I know as well as you do that you are not alone, but there is nothing you have left to shield yourself from this monster you yourself have taunted into not just humiliating you and taking that World Heavyweight Championship we all know you truly do hold so dearly, but… My client, Scott Diamond, now feels an example must be made out of a man such as you that believes he can poke the most dangerous beast in the World with a stick and get away with it. Do these threatening words sound a tad bit familiar, Sekaiichi? These are the same words I repeatedly told a man named Cy Henderson. The difference is that I was not referring to you, Mikado Sekaiichi, when I urged him to step away from his dreams of becoming Champion. I was referring to Scott Diamond, because THIS man is the storm that will consume everything in its path JUST as it did to Cy Henderson! YOU will come to know that more than even him, Sekaiichi, when you ignorantly step into the eye of this storm and feel the true carnage this man, Scott Diamond, is capable of. You have insulted him with this pitiful “Trial By Fire” stipulation by claiming as though HE has something to prove to YOU… As well as entertaining the thought that Scott Diamond needs to beat you over the skull with a flaming chair or kendo stick to get the job done. You have been looking at everything all wrong for far too long, Sekaiichi, and I’m afraid it’s long overdue for it to finally come tumbling down right on your thick, deluded mind!
(Hitchman throws the microphone down as “In The Air Tonight” picks back up while he and Scott Diamond take their leave)
Masters: Albert Hitchman sounds like he knows precisely what he’s doing… I wonder if Sekaiichi feels the same.
Mak: Are you kidding me? Our Mikado is absolutely not afraid of this Pen and Teller knock-off! He knows what he’s doing! He’s not afraid of anyone!
Masters: Let’s hope you’re right… Cause this certainly doesn’t seem like just ANY challenge to me…
(Camera cuts backstage to a close-up on the silent, stoic face of Y2Impact; dressed in his ring attire and a new Y2Impact official t-shirt)
(The camera zooms out to reveal Max A. Million standing next to Impact with a microphone in hand)
Max: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I’ve been given the responsibility of interviewing each competitor who will fight within the Hellfire No Way Out Match at Dia Del Diablo for an opportunity to challenge the World Heavyweight Champion - be it Mikado Sekaiichi or Scott Diamond - at Pain For Pride Se7en. Standing here with me is a man who made his shocking return to EAW at the Grand Rampage. He is a former six-time World Champion in this company, one of the greatest National Extreme Champions, former multi-time Tag Team Champion, and more. This is Y2Impact. Impact, I’m not gonna sugar-coat anything… Ever since you’ve returned, you haven’t been on much of a hot-streak as many had anticipated--
(Impact slowly turns his head to lock eyes with a suddenly silent Max)
Impact: A very astute observation, Max. I’m glad there’s people like you around that think their job is to remind the people they’re interviewing of their follies and re-open those wounds despite you being clearly too much of a coward to truly push the envelope and show no fear when you get a reaction like the one you just derived from me. The Grand Rampage was a mistake that anyone could have fallen victim to. The Showdown following… Just the same. Last week’s Showdown, however… I was humiliated. Everything I have worked for in this industry means absolutely nothing when you watch my match with Jacob Senn last week on Showdown in which he made quick work of me in a matter of two minutes. I don’t want to forget that. I want to remember that humility for the rest of my life, because it is going to be what gives me more pleasure than anything when I look further past that loss and see just how much I overshadowed it as I went on to prove why I am known throughout this World and the next as the Quintessential Champion. My ego isn’t what I’m fighting for right now; it’s none of my concern until I’ve done what I say I’m going to do and what I say I’m going to do is I’m going to walk into a match and I’m going to win and I’m going to go on to Pain For Pride and I’m going to become a four-time World Heavyweight Champion. Why do you think I’m back here, Max? I’m here the same reason Y2Impact has always existed in this World: To win gold. Maybe in times that do not matter like battles over non-existent braggings rights, I’ve been toppled time and time again, but the fact of the matter is that when there is gold to be won, I am the victor. I am the one who pulls Excalibur from the stone simply because there is nobody more worthy of doing so. I was primed to main event Pain For Pride. I was born to wear gold. Do you think it’s mere coincidence that even after I failed to win the Grand Rampage that we’ve now found ourselves choosing a man to challenge for the World Heavyweight Championship by winning this Hellfire No Way Out Match? This has come to be because it’s the way it was meant to be. I don’t call it fate or destiny; I call it the World regaining its proper balance. Fate and destiny can change; the result of this match tonight won’t, the result of the match at Dia Del Diablo won’t, and the result of my World Championship match at Pain For Pride won’t.
(Y2Impact smirks before calmly walking off as Max looks on)
(Camera transitions back to the ring)
(“Fire It Up” by Thousand Foot Krutch plays all throughout the arena as Venom, Hades The Hellraiser, and Nick Angel make their way out to the stage)
Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for ONE fall!.... First, making his way to the ring, accompanied by Nick Angel and Hades The Hellraiser…. From Atlanta, Georgia!.... Weighing in at 225 pounds!.... HE IS “THE INCURABLE TOXIN”.... VEEEEENNNNNNNOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!!.....
(“No One’s Gonna Find Her in the Dark” by Panic!Fall Out plays all throughout the arena as Tarah Nova makes her way out to the stage)
Announcer: And his opponent!.... Making her way to the ring…. From Detroit, Michigan!.... Weighing in at 125 pounds!.... TARAH NOOOOOOOVVVVVVVAAAAAAAA!!!....
(DING! DING! DING!)
Masters: The bell has rung to officially start off this bout as… Hold on! Nick and Hades now slowly rising up on the ring apron! Tarah’s suddenly feeling cornered here as she gets ready to fight… SHE RUSHES IN AND NAILS NICK WITH A STIFF ELBOW AS HE GOES FLYING! SHE TURNS AROUND! INJECTION!!!! TARAH DROPS LIKE A STATUE AS VENOM NONCHALANTLY COVERS HER!!
Referee: ONE!!!!!!....... TWO!!!!!!!!!......... THREE!!!!!!!!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
(“Fire It Up” by Thousand Foot Krutch plays all throughout the arena as Venom and Hades celebrate in the ring)
Announcer: The Winner of this contest by pinfall!!..... VEEEEEEENNNNNOOOOOMMMM!!!!
Mak: Wow! Somebody post a sticky note on Tarah’s body that reads “Reminder: YOU GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT”! That was over before I even had time to blink! Venom certainly getting a big win and some much-needed redemption tonight as… Hold on! Hades picking Nova up now… LAST CALL!!!! TARAH’S DRIVEN DOWN INTO THE CANVAS!! Hades double-taps the “Queen of Extreme” for good measure as he sends a message to the rest of Demon’s Council that the House of Renegades are here to win by any means!
(Camera cuts backstage to a smiling Kevin Devastation dressed in a suit with Max A. Million standing next to him)
Max: Welcome once again, ladies and gentlemen, to our second edition of “Last Rites” tonight as I give a brief interview to each competitor in the Hellfire No Way Out Match. I’ve already spoken with Y2Impact, and my next guest is quite accomplished in his own right. He is a former EAW Champion, part of one of the most infamous tag teams in EAW history, and current Showdown General Manager… This is Kevin Devastation.
Kevin: Thank you, thank you. As Showdown General Manager and future World Heavyweight Champion, it’s my duty to ensure the best possible product for this company. Now I’ve noticed that there’s usually a rather shocking slump in ratings in our mid-hour of Showdown, so I thought it’d be best to alleviate that headache by conducting this interview here at this precise time.
Max: I see… Well, do you have any particular thoughts as far as this Hellfire No Way Out Match goes?
Kevin: Thoughts? Why, Max, don’t you believe in the philosophy that actions speak louder than words? What I think should have been pretty damn obvious when I created this match from the very beginning. I watched last year just before I had made my triumphant return and fell in love with the concept of the No Way Out Match. I love how barbaric it is. I love how unforgiving it is. I love how it is the perfect torture device for a true Champion to go through… Unfortunately, the first test of getting a good Champion out of that match was a complete and utter failure as I extinguished him from this company with little to no effort on my part. However, I truly believe this experiment will deliver and it will deliver in SPADES. There is nothing more hellaciously sadistic than bringing this structure back into play, but providing flames to ensure there is nothing but pain, malice, and broken dreams. I must be some sort of masochist for wanting to even partake myself, but as I’ve stated before, I have to do what’s best for business. I have to do what’s right for this company and specifically this brand. There are six men who are willing to put absolutely everything on the line in this match just for the final chance to main event Pain For Pride and challenge for the World Heavyweight Championship. I have a lust for gold that’s as well documented as any other, but what motivates me to win this match is the want to give this company a leader it can finally be proud of… Even if it means having to go through my good friend, DEDEDE, to do so. I’ve got the honor of teaming with DEDEDE tonight and I will not take it in stride. We will dominate as he and I were born to, but when the bell has rung and we find ourselves as enemies on the battlefield… I will not hesitate to make anyone in my way bow before this King.
(Kevin walks off as Max looks on)
(Camera transitions to Scott Diamond leaving the arena as Tomi Venus attempts to catch up to him with a microphone in hand)
Tomi: Hey, uh…. Can I…. Is there a….. Why are you leaving? Where’s Albert? Hel--
(Scott Diamond stops and swiftly wraps a hand around the throat of a fearful Tomi)
Scott: I leave when I want to leave.
(Scott throws Tomi into the nearest cement wall like a ragdoll before continuing to take his leave)
(Camera transitions back to Max A. Million standing next to Jacob Senn)
Max: My next guest tonight in the “Last Rites” for the participants of the Hellfire No Way Out Match is a former Elite Champion, former Unified Tag Team Champion, and the winner of last week’s Beat The Clock Challenge, Jacob Senn.
Jacob: Winner? I didn’t just win the Beat The Clock Challenge, Max; I decimated it. I’ve grown so, so tired of playing by the rules to get what I deserve in this disgustingly corrupt company. What I am is the equivalent to Colonel Kurtz in Apocalypse Now; I’ve become rogue from this society that’s become a complete joke and I’ve created a society of my own. A society that’s pure and honest. Is this madness breaking through sanity or sanity breaking through madness? Does it really matter in the end? All that matters is that I do whatever it takes to ensure I finally get what I deserve and that is the coveted main event spot at Pain For Pride and the World Heavyweight Championship that’s been pulled out of my grasp time and time again. I did precisely as I said I would last week; I not only won the Beat The Clock Challenge, but I simultaneously turned a Legend like Y2Impact into a bonafide joke by handing him one of, if not the quickest loss of his career. You would think that satisfies me, even a little… But it doesn’t. It doesn’t do a damn thing for me. I don’t want a trinket that I can hang up on my wall and let it rot there from then on; I want something that lasts forever. I want to be the EAW Heavyweight Champion of the World. I want to take my rightful spot on top of this World I’ve become victim to time and time again. I want justice in this cruel, merciless World I’ve taken part in. I’m the only man in this match who has competed in a No Way Out Match before, but I see that as no difference maker. The only advantage I need is this body and this mind of mine. The last time I entered this match, I snapped a man’s arm as if it were nothing. This time, I’m willing to break every bone in the bodies of the men that try to get in my way. I’m willing to set them on fire until their annoying existence is reduced to nothing but ash on the bottom of my boot. This is not a game anymore, my friend, so I can only hope the men standing before me at Dia Del Diablo don’t try to play it like one. I’ve made my decision: I will enter at number 6. I will sit and I will wait and bide my time until I’ve been released and can step forward with my mind clear and their bodies bruised and beaten. One too many times I’ve had to jump through hoops to get the Championship shots I should have been handed on a silver platter. I don’t intend to turn this into a struggle unless the fighting spirit of the others in that match want it to be. If they had any sense in their thick skulls, they’d know to get out of my way and allow me to end this quickly. Unfortunately, I know what will happen, but perhaps that’s always been my biggest detriment: Hope. Naive optimism that makes me want to believe they’ll know better. I know what will happen and I’m fully prepared to take the lives of five men who could have chose to live another day.
(Jacob stares at Max for several moments before finally taking his leave)
(Camera cuts backstage to Max A. Million standing next to an increasingly inpatient Lethal Consequences as Showdown returns from commercial)
Max: I'm he—
(Lethal swipes the microphone from Max's hand)
LC: Hey guys, Max A. Million here interviewing the EAW Legend himself, Lethal Consequences. Now as we all know, Lethal Consequences is a former Answers World Champion, former EAW Undisputed Hardcore Champion, former EAW Champion, and one of the most infamous prodigies to have ever graced an Extreme Answers Wrestling ring.
LC: Oh Max, you're too kind. C'mon, I'm blushing...
LC: No, no, these people deserve to be reminded of your amazing accomplishments throughout your phenomenal career in this company. However, I'm afraid I'm going to have to interview you for your “Last Rites” in regards to the upcoming Hellfire No Way Out Match at Dia Del Diablo. Now, first you may be asking, “What makes this 'Last Rites' in any way, shape, or form?”. Well, if we had to bother with ensuring things make sense, you would have just been handed the Pain For Pride World Championship match the moment you re-signed with us. Now, what exactly are your thoughts on all of this?
LC: Me? Oh, well, you know, Max, I try my best to be modest. It's not easy to be me, ya know? I've gotta deal with guys I'm not familiar with trying to merely be in my presence during my matches. I've gotta deal with a company that thinks they can be cute and re-do a Pain For Pride match that stole the show and even won Match of the Year. I've got a lot on my plate, but I'll TRY to get across exactly how I feel as far as this match goes... Ahem... I feel.... Like there's a lot of overblown emotions pent up inside five overly dramatic guys who don't have the faintest clue what they're really doing. For some reason, I feel as though I've been caught up in this exact same scenario a lot more than once and yet, it all feels so very FRESH and NEW. The reluctance I'm feeling to entertain these people that pretend like the universe revolves around them is as if I'm feeling it for the very first time. I feel like I'm done talking, Max.
(LC tosses the microphone back to a confused Max as he takes his leave)
(Camera fades back to the ring)
(“Street Dreams” by Hollywood Undead plays all throughout the arena as GI Styles makes his way out to the stage next to Carlos Rosso with their Unified Tag Team Championships around their waists)
Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for ONE fall!.... First, making his way to the ring, accompanied by Carlos Rosso…. From Toronto, Ontario, Canada!.... Weighing in at 202 pounds!.... HE IS ½ OF THE EAW UNIFIED TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS…. G! I!! STTTTTTTYYYYYYYYYYLLLLLLLLEEEEEESSSSS!!!....
(“Invisible” by Downstait plays all throughout the arena as Xavier Williams and Eddie Mack make their way out to the ring)
Announcer: And his opponent!.... Making his way to the ring, accompanied by Eddie Mack…. From Detroit, Michigan!.... Weighing in at 227 pounds!.... XAVIER WIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLIIIIIAAAAMMMMMMMSSSSSSSS!!!....
Masters: Here we go as GI and Xavier lock up… Both men attempting to outpower the other.. GI manages to trip Xavier up as Xavier drops flat on his back! GI manages to drop down and catch him in a triangle hold! Xavier doing all he can to escape this one! Xavier laying into GI with multiple shots to the body as he struggles to escape! Xavier backs up enough to catch a foot on the bottom rope! The Official forces GI to break the hold… GI quickly grabs a hold of Xavier.. Xavier trips GI up and sends him stumbling through the ropes and to the outside! GI quickly trying to get back to his feet on the outside as Xavier gets back to a vertical base with GI in his sights… SLINGSHOT CROSSBODY TO THE OUTSIDE! GI MOVES OUT OF THE WAY! Xavier lands on his feet! BEAUTIFUL DROPKICK TAKES GI DOWN ON THE OUTSIDE!
Mak: A concerned Carlos Rosso makes his way over to his downed partner… EDDIE MACK IN FROM BEHIND SENDS CARLOS FACE-FIRST INTO THE BARRICADE! Eddie now laying into GI! Xavier grabs a hold of GI and drags him back to his feet.. GI breaks through Xavier’s grip and nails him with a European uppercut! Another! Spinning kick into the gut of Xavier! Forearm! Eddie Mack locks the waist of GI from behind! GERMAN SUPLEX! GI blocks it! Elbow to Eddie! XAVIER CHARGES! GI with a kick to the gut of Xavier! GI sends Xavier head-first under Eddie’s arm.. GI RUSHES AND NAILS EDDIE WITH A NECKBREAKER, CAUSING HIM TO ACCIDENTALLY DDT XAVIER!! GI grabs a hold of Xavier now as he drags him back to his feet… He sends Xavier rolling back into the ring.. Eddie stops GI from following him in as he assaults him! CARLOS BACK IN AS HE LAYS INTO EDDIE MACK! XAVIER WILLIAMS WITH A SPRINGBOARD 450 ONTO EVERYONE!!! ALL FOUR MEN SEEM TO HAVE ERUPTED INTO A BRAWL!! THE OFFICIAL’S DOING ALL HE CAN TO CONTAIN THEM, BUT TO NO AVAIL!! HE CALLS FOR THE BELL!
(DING! DING! DING!)
Announcer: As the Official was unable to control the two competitors in this contest as well as excessive interference, the Referee has ruled this match as a no contest!
Mak: Well this match may be over, but I don’t think these two teams seem to give a damn as they continue to go at it! Security now rushing down here to control them! I can’t wait to see what these two teams can do at Dia Del Diablo when the Unified Tag Team Titles are on the line! There won’t be any love lost, that’s for sure!
(Camera cuts backstage to Tyler Parker next to Max A. Million)
Max: Welcome back to the “Last Rites” of each participant in the upcoming Hellfire No Way Out Match at Dia Del Diablo. I’ve already spoken to Y2Impact, Kevin Devastation, Jacob Senn, and Lethal Consequences. Now I speak to a man that has certainly a unique career in Extreme Answers Wrestling. He’s had many ups and downs, but there’s no arguing that ever since Pain For Pride of last year, Tyler Parker has shot up into the stratosphere of stardom in Extreme Answers Wrestling. From defeating DEDEDE in the main event of Shock Value to winning his first World Heavyweight Championship in an Extreme Elimination Chamber, Tyler Parker has certainly etched his name into history in EAW. Tyler, simple question: What are your thoughts heading into this match?
(Tyler takes a moment to think before he responds)
Tyler: You say that’s a simple question… But I think I’m gonna have to disagree. That’s not simple at all. That’s a very tough question, because I really can’t seem to wrap my head around anything. It feels like I’ve been in a dream when I was doing those things you mentioned, but somebody forgot to wake me up, and my mind continued to wander and wander until this dream turned into a nightmare of sorts. I had everything and I lost it. All I have left to show for all of my efforts is this National Extreme Championship of mine that I have yet to even defend. I’ve stated before and I’ll state again that what I want more than anything in the World right now is to climb my way back to the top and find myself as, once again, the simultaneous National Extreme Champion and World Heavyweight Champion in this company. It’s become more of a task than I had ever wanted. It’s become grueling. It’s worn me down, but I’m no stranger to being worn down. I was betrayed by a man that will likewise be competing in this match named DEDEDE, and despite all of his attempts to wear me down and break my will, I bit down through the pain, endured it, and came out the victor in the end when I was finally able to get him on a neutral playing field. Things have certainly changed since then… I’ve become a former World Champion and now because I could not capitalize on the number 30 spot in the Grand Rampage, I have to put everything I have in my being to win this match at Dia Del Diablo and win to go to Pain For Pride and take what I want. Even if I have to go through my mentor or the man that just pretended to be my mentor. I’ve put my body through Hell to beat the odds before; now it’s just a matter of doing it again.
(Tyler takes his leave as Max looks on)
(Camera cuts back to the arena as Showdown returns from commercial)
(The ring and ramp and stage are all shown to be filled with various weapons that have been set ablaze)
Mak: Definitely an eerie sight to see all of these weapons on fire…
“ALL HAIL THE KING!”
(“Hail to the King” by Avenged Sevenfold plays all throughout the arena as Mikado Sekaiichi makes his way out to the stage and through the middle of the flaming weapons)
Masters: It would seem this is what we’re going to be seeing come Dia Del Diablo in the Trial By Fire Match in which this man, Mikado Sekaiichi, will defend his World Heavyweight Championship against challenger, Scott Diamond. Last week in the contract signing for the match, Sekaiichi certainly showed no visible fear, but more of a child-like playfulness with Scott Diamond as he refused to confront him physically and then claimed Scott would need to prove his abilities in their upcoming match, hence the name.
(Mikado Sekaiichi is handed a microphone as he enters the ring while “Hail to the King” fades out)
Mikado: I’ve been to many places all throughout this World of mine… And yet, I’ve never felt more comfortable than I am right now. I look around at all of these weapons set ablaze and it fills me with a joy that nothing compares to. I look around and wonder if Scott Diamond has ever read the book “Frankenstein”. I wonder if he knows what happens to mindless beasts created by mad men. I wonder if he knows what happens when a monster gets just a bit too close to fire. I know that it’s intimidation that hope feeds off most, especially in this profession. Without intimidation, there’s not much to cling to. I’m fully aware that you both wish to intimidate me with your threats and your stories of what’s to come and what the reality truly is, but I stand here and tell you with every bit of honesty in my being that there is nothing that makes me fear Scott Diamond. Why is that? It’s for the same reason you have nothing to fear when you go to watch the circus; it can seem dangerous at times, but it’s nothing more than harmless entertainment in the end. Albert Hitchman, you tell me that I have nothing left to stop Scott Diamond’s mighty power and his exceptional ability to dominate anything in his path, but I must disagree. I may not have my Agents of Extreme and I may not have someone as expendable as you or Damien Murrow, but what I do have is something more loyal that you will ever comprehend. Look around me and you will see all that I need scare off your monster, Frankenstein; an entire World dedicated to testing your powerful little words you so badly want to use to strike fear into me with.
(Sekaiichi grabs his crown and wields it up)
Mikado: This is what’s left of the precious little trinket once known as the World Heavyweight Championship. Do you know what forged it into an image I wanted? Look around me and you will find that answer. That trinket of a Championship happens to not be the only thing that flames are capable of forging into what I want. As much as I try to keep this sadism moderated, I can’t help but feel overcome with this incredible urge to forge a big, bad monster into a groveling little boy with the use of these flames.
???: Tisk, tisk, tisk…
(Albert Hitchman calmly makes his way out to the stage with a microphone in hand)
Albert: You made a grave mistake tonight, Sekaiichi. A very serious error. I myself did not think you were dumb enough, but perhaps someone like you should learn first-hand that if you play with fire… You’re gonna get burned.
Mak: HOLD ON--LOOK OUT! SEKAIICHI TURNS AROUND AND HE’S IMMEDIATELY TAKEN DOWN WITH A MASSIVE LARIAT FROM SCOTT DIAMOND!! SCOTT DIAMOND IS STILL HERE! SCOTT DIAMOND IS BRUTALLY LAYING INTO SEKAIICHI!! SEKAIICHI DOING ALL HE CAN TO FIGHT BACK, BUT SCOTT’S THROWING HIM AROUND LIKE A DAMN RAGDOLL!! SEKAIICHI’S FIGHTING BACK! AXE KICK TO THE BACK OF THE SKULL! ANOTHER! HE GRABS SCOTT! KING’S LANDING!!!! SCOTT COUNTERS AS HE PICKS SEKAIICHI UP!! VORTEX!!!! A VICIOUS VORTEX CONNECTS!! ALBERT HITCHMAN’S FACE HAS LIT UP! HE LOOKS ELATED! HOLD ON… SCOTT DRAGGING SEKAIICHI TO THE OUTSIDE NOW… NO… COME ON! HE’S GOT HIM UP… VORTEX INTO THE NEAREST RING POST!!!! SEKAIICHI’S BODY BOUNCES RIGHT OFF THAT RINGPOST WITH GREAT VELOCITY!! He… Hold on… Scott’s eying that flaming table on the outside! Hitchman seems to be disagreeing with whatever Scott’s thinking!
Hitchman: Scott! Scott…. Scott, don’t do this… Scott, listen, if you injure him, you don’t get your match… Scott!
Masters: HE PICKS SEKAIICHI UP!! HITCHMAN’S TELLING HIM NOT TO! VORTEX!!!! VORTEX THROUGH THE FLAMING TABLE!!!! SEKAIICHI’S ON FIRE!! CREW MEMBERS QUICKLY RUSH IN WITH FIRE EXTINGUISHERS, BUT THE DAMAGE MAY ALREADY BE DONE!! SCOTT DIAMOND HAS ABSOLUTELY DECIMATED THE WORLD CHAMPION IN A MATTER OF MINUTES! I… I really don’t know what Sekaiichi could possibly do to stop this man, Scott Diamond! I really don’t! Scott Diamond seems to have no mercy in him whatsoever! He made a huge example tonight out of the World’s Champion! Nobody seems to be safe!
(Camera cuts backstage to Max A. Million standing next to a silent and distant DEDEDE)
Max: For the final “Last Rites” interview, I’m standing here with a man that--
(DEDEDE places his hand over the top of Max’s microphone; both men stand in silence before DEDEDE slowly leaves without saying a word while a confused Max looks on)
(Camera fades back to the ring)
Announcer: The following contest is a three on three tag team elimination match and is YOUR SHOWDOWN MAIN EVENT OF THE EVENING!!......
(“On Sight” by Kanye West plays all throughout the arena as DEDEDE quietly makes his way out to the stage, followed by Jacob Senn and Kevin Devastation)
Announcer: First, making their way to the ring!.... THE TEAM OF…. JACOB SENN….. KEVIN DEVASTATION…. AND DE! DE!! DDDDDDDDDDDDDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!.....
(“Twisted Transistor” by Korn plays all throughout the arena as Y2Impact makes his way out to the stage along-side Lethal Consequences and Tyler Parker)
Announcer: And their opponents!.... THE TEAM OF…. LETHAL CONSEQUENCES…. TYLER PARKER…. AND Y! 2!! IMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPAAAAAACCCCTTTT!!!....
(DING! DING! DING!)
Masters: It looks like Impact is volunteering to get this one started off with DEDEDE as both men circle the ring as the rest of the competitors in this bout get to their respective corners… These two men, Impact and DEDEDE, of course, put on one HELL of a match just last year at Pain For Pride 6, but you can certainly tell time has changed them both as they go in for a lock up.. No, Impact instead goes behind with a waist lock! Possible German suplex here! It’s quickly blocked by DDD! Elbow off the jaw of Impact! Standing switch by DDD! RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX!! Impact lands on his feet and immediately catches DDD with a dropkick! DDD swats the dropkick away and immediately looks to repay the favor with a dropkick of his own to the head of a kneeling Impact! It misses! Impact catches DDD immediately with a grounded chin lock! DDD doing all he can to fight out of this as the fans remain firmly in his corner despite his unexplained change in attitude as of late as he’s become far more distant, cold, and dangerous… DDD quickly rising back to his feet.. LOUD elbow into the ribs of Impact! You can tell DDD didn’t hold back whatsoever on that just by looking at Impact’s face! Another elbow! DDD PICKS IMPACT UP! SAITO SUPLEX CONNECTS!! DDD QUICKLY COVERS IMPACT!!
Mak: Just a one count before Impact is able to kick out of it… DDD seems to have no interest whatsoever in tagging in anyone from his team at the moment as he drags Impact back to his feet.. He pulls Impact in for a knee right into the ribs! Another knee to the ribs before DDD nails Impact with a scoop slam! DDD rushes off the ropes, looking for a running senton! Nobody’s home as Impact moves out of the way while DDD crashes on the canvas! Impact looks like he’s ready to tag out as both LC and Tyler are ready to step up… DDD doesn’t look like he wants that to happen as he begins following behind… DDD LUNGES INTO AN ELBOW OFF THE SPINE OF IMPACT! LOOK AT THIS! CRIPPLER CROSSFACE!!! DDD WITH A CRIPPLER CROSSFACE LOCKED IN ON IMPACT OUT OF NOWHERE!! IMPACT KNOWS HE’S IN TROUBLE! IF HE TAPS, HE’S OUT OF THIS MATCH! HE’LL BE HUMILIATED FOR A SECOND WEEK IN A ROW! DDD LOOKS LIKE HE’S WILLING TO SNAP IMPACT’S NECK IF IT MEANS TAKING HIM OUT OF THIS! IMPACT ROLLS BOTH MEN OVER INTO A PINNING ATTEMPT ON DDD!
Referee: ONE!!!!!!!........ TWO!!!!!!
Masters: DDD kicks out of it; simultaneously being forced to break the Crossface as both he and Impact rush back to a vertical base! DDD's up first, but he's caught off-guard as Impact springs to his feet with a closed-fist punch to the face! DDD stumbles.. But he manages to fire back with a forearm off the face of Impact! Impact with a loud knife-edge chop off the chest of DDD that reverberates all throughout the arena! DDD's chest turning a bright shade of red after that one... He tries to return the favor with a chop of his own, but it's blocked by Impact! Forearm from Impact! Left! Right! Left! DDD with a sickening knee into the mid-section of Impact; stopping him dead in his tracks! KNEE TO THE FACE! FOREARM! DDD UNLOADING WITH A FLURRY OF LEFTS AND RIGHTS AS IMPACT ATTEMPTS TO GUARD HIMSELF! DDD NAILS Impact with yet another knee into the mid-section, this time pulling him in... LOOKING FOR A DEDEDE DDT! Impact's not having it... He blocks the DDT! DOUBLE-LEG TAKEDOWN! DDD FINDS HIMSELF IN PANIC MODE ALL OF A SUDDEN! HE KNOWS WHAT IMPACT'S LOOKING FOR!! WALLS OF IMPACT!!!! NO—DDD'S FIGHTING IT WITH EVERYTHING HE'S GOT! IMPACT'S SLOWLY DRAGGING HIM TO HIS CORNER... SLINGSHOT!!! DDD nails that top turnbuckle face-first!
Mak: Impact's quickly back to his feet and tags Tyler Parker in! Tyler looks to waste absolutely no time going to work; looking to capitalize on Impact's damage to DDD as he lifts DDD up from behind and places him on the top turnbuckle... Tyler climbs up there with him as he looks for something big! DDD's fighting it! DDD with multiple blows to Tyler! Tyler's fighting back! DDD BITES TYLER!! DDD BITING INTO TYLER'S FLESH AS A MEANS TO GET OUT OF THIS! LC NAILS DDD WITH A SHOT; SUCCESSFULLY STOPPING HIS STRUGGLE! TYLER QUICKLY GOES FOR IT! BELLY TO BACK SUPERPLEX CONNECTS!!! DDD BOUNCES LIKE A FOOTBALL OFF THE CANVAS ON IMPACT!! ALL TYLER NEEDS TO DO IS COVER! HE'S GOT THIS! DDD IS ON THE VERGE OF ELIMINATION HERE! TYLER SLOWLY MAKING HIS WAY OVER TO HIM... HE HOOKS THE LEG OF DDD!!
Referee: ONE!!!!!!....... TWO!!!!!!!!!!........
Masters: It's broken up by Kevin Devastation as he nails Tyler with a knee drop to the back of the skull! KD doesn't stop there! He continues laying into a downed Tyler Parker! KD's yelled at the Official to get back to his corner... KD cooperates as DDD slowly rises back to his feet... Senn and KD reaching in for the tag, but DDD ignores them both as he gets back to a vertical base! DDD now yelling for Tyler to get up! Tyler gets to his feet, but he's met with an immediate right from DDD! A left! Tyler with multiple punches of his own into DDD! TYLER NOT STOPPING THERE AS HE CONTINUES WITH A SUDDEN BURST OF ENERGY! TYLER'S UNLOADING WITH AN ONSLAUGHT OF BLOWS INTO DDD! BEAUTIFUL DROPKICK SENDS DDD STUMBLING INTO HIS CORNER! Jacob Senn tags himself in! Senn quickly enters the ring... Hold on... LC grabs the attention of Tyler! LC's asking to be tagged in, looking for some payback on Senn! Tyler looks like he's fine with that as he tags in Lethal Consequences! LC enters the ring as both he and Senn stare down... Senn tags in Kevin Devastation! Senn seems to have no interest in LC as KD enters the ring... KD looks to— Hold on.. DDD seems to have come to and looks none too happy that he was tagged out as he turns KD around and gets in his face! KD trying to explain what happened... KD quickly turns his attention back—ACID REIGN!!!! KD IS NAILED WITH THE ACID REIGN OUT OF NOWHERE AS LC COVERS HIM AND HOOKS BOTH LEGS!!
Referee: ONE!!!!!!!........ TWO!!!!!!!!!......... THREE!!!!!!!!!!
Announcer: Kevin Devastation has been eliminated!!.....
Mak: And just like that, Kevin is O-U-T OUT! He took his eye off the ball and he paid for it big time as LC took advantage! DDD rushes in now with a thesz press on LC! DDD unloading here as LC tries to fight back! LC nails DDD with a powerful headbutt off the skull! LC seems to have turned the tables here now as he now mounts the chest of DDD and unloads with a series of shots! DDD's not even trying to guard! He's trying to fight! DDD WITH A FOREARM OFF THE FACE OF LC! Both men racing to their feet here! DDD'S UP FIRST AS HE CHARGES! LC TURNS HIM INSIDE OUT WITH A HUGE LARIAT!! LC LOOKING TO POTENTIALLY END DDD IN THIS BOUT HERE AS HE PULLS HIM BACK UP TO HIS FEET! ACID REIGN!!!! DDD FORCES LC OFF AND INTO THE ROPES! COMING BACK! SPEAR!!!! LC JUMPS TO AVOID THE ONCOMING SPEAR FROM DEDEDE! LC CATCHES DDD FROM BEHIND! FLASHBACK!! SLEEPER SLAM IS SUCCESSFUL AS BOTH MEN ARE DOWN! LC HOOKS THE LEG OF DDD FOR A POTENTIAL ELIMINATION!!
Referee: ONE!!!!!!!!......... TWO!!!!!!!!!!
Masters: KICK OUT! DDD'S STILL IN THIS! LC looks like he wants to hurry up and take DDD out of this match, but it's gonna take more than that... LC slowly rises back to a vertical base as DDD isn't far behind... LC'S UP AS HE TAKES DDD DOWN WITH A DOUBLE-LEG TAKEDOWN! LC LOOKING FOR SOMETHING! LOCKDOWN!!!! DDD PULLS LC IN FOR AN INSIDE CRADLE OUT OF NOWHERE!!!
Referee: ONE!!!!!!!........ TWO!!!!!!!!
Mak: LC KICKS OUT! Both men scramble to get to their feet! LC'S UP FIRST AS HE RUSHES IN! KICK TO THE GUT FROM DDD! DEDEDE DDT CONNECTS ON LC!! DDD COULD BE LOOKING FOR A TAG TO JACOB SENN HERE! HE MAKES HIS WAY OVER TO HIS CORNER... HE'S THERE! Hold on... DDD doesn't seem to be going for a tag! No! He's pulling himself up and locked LC on his sights! We know what he's looking for! LC's slowly rising back to his feet... SENN WITH A BLIND TAG TO DDD! DDD CHARGES!! SPEAR!!!! IT MISSES AS LC DODGES! DDD TURNS AROUND! ACID REIGN!!!! DDD FORCES HIM OFF! REVELATION!!!! SENN NAILS LC WITH THE REVELATION AND HOOKS BOTH LEGS!!!
Referee: ONE!!!!!!!!!........ TWO!!!!!!!!!!!......... THREE!!!!!!!!!!!
Announcer: Lethal Consequences has been eliminated!!.....
Masters: Jacob Senn once again screws Lethal Consequences out of a match here tonight as he caught him entirely off-guard with that Revelation! DDD looks none too happy about all of this as Jacob gets back to his feet! DDD gets in Senn's face as both men argue... LC still seems dazed; confused about what just happened as the Referee tries to usher him out of the ring... DDD and Senn's argument is getting progressively more heated! Senn pushes DDD! DDD WITH A SHOT TO SENN! ACID REIGN!!!! LETHAL CONSEQUENCES WITH THE ACID REIGN ON SENN OUT OF NOWHERE BEFORE EXITING THE MATCH! LC GOT HIS PAYBACK! IMPACT NOW IN AS HE NAILS DDD WITH MULTIPLE SHOTS! CLOTHESLINE SENDS BOTH IMPACT AND DDD OVER TO THE OUTSIDE AS TYLER RUSHES IN FOR A COVER ON SENN!!
Referee: ONE!!!!!!!....... TWO!!!!!!!!!.......... THREE!!!!!!!
Announcer: Jacob Senn has been eliminated!!.....
Mak: And just like that, it's two on one as Impact and DDD continue to go at it here on the outside! DDD TAKES CONTROL NOW AS HE SENDS IMPACT HEAD-FIRST INTO THE BARRICADE! DDD TURNS AROUND AS TYLER COMES CHARGING! SUICIDE DIVE!!! DDD is taken down! He's in big trouble here! Tyler seems to be the new legal man with DDD obviously the legal man as he's the only person left standing on his team... Tyler drags DDD back to his feet and sends him rolling back into the ring... A dazed and damaged DDD stirs in the ring as Tyler follows him back in... Tyler carefully stalking DDD.... DDD'S UP AS TYLER SPRINGBOARDS OFF THE MIDDLE ROPE! FINAL CHAPTER!!! SPEAR!!!! DDD TAKES TYLER DOWN AND FOLDS HIM UP LIKE AN ACCORDION WITH A SPEAR IN MID-AIR!!! TYLER'S BEEN BROKEN IN HALF!! DDD CRAWLS OVER TO HIM FOR THE IMMINENT ELIMINATION... HE COVERS HIM!
Referee: ONE!!!!!!!...... TWO!!!!!!!!
Masters: IT'S BROKEN UP BY Y2IMPACT! IMPACT BACK IN THIS AS HE LAYS INTO DDD! DDD's doing all he possibly can to fight back here! DDD with vicious, unforgiving elbows to the jaw of Impact repeatedly! Impact has a visible busted lip as he's sent stumbling back while DDD rushes back to his feet! Impact swings! It misses as DDD catches him from behind! DDD-O-MATIC CONNECTS!! DDD covers Impact, but quickly realizes it's to no avail as Tyler is the legal man... A vicious, blood-thirsty DEDEDE slowly rises back to his feet with a damaged Tyler Parker dead in his sights... DDD slowly backs up into the nearest corner! He's got an eagerness to destroy in his eyes! You can clearly see it! He's got a fire that not even the upcoming No Way Out Match can compare to! He wants to end this NOW! Tyler... HE'S UP! DDD CHARGES! CODEBREAKER!!!! IMPACT RUSHED IN AND CAUGHT DDD WITH A CODEBREAKER OUT OF NOWHERE, BUT HE'S STILL ON HIS FEET! TYLER PULLS HIM IN! ACROSS THE PARK!!!! IT CONNECTS AS TYLER COVERS!!
Referee: ONE!!!!!!!!........ TWO!!!!!!!!!!........... THREE!!!!!!!!!!
(DING! DING! DING!)
(“Lies” by Evanescence plays all throughout the arena)
Announcer: The winners of this contest by pinfall!!..... Y2IMPACT, LETHAL CONSEQUENCES, AND TYLER PAAAAARRRRRRRRKKKKKKKEEEEERRRR!!!!
Mak: Now that was fun! No blood, but that was still amusing! It looks like Tyler and Impact finally managed to get on the same page here tonight as the Official helps Tyler to his feet! Huge win for them both as they end this match as the sole survivors tonight with a big win over DEDEDE as the final survivor of his team! CODEBREAKER!!!! IMPACT NAILS TYLER PARKER WITH A CODEBREAKER OUT OF NOWHERE!!!
Masters: What the Hell was that for?! What's he thinking?
Mak: I'll tell you what he's thinking, Masters! Impact is thinking of Pain For Pride! Quintessential Successor or not! There's no allies here! It's every man for himself inside that Hellfire No Way Out Match and Impact just sent that message loud and clear! Impact manages to stand on top tonight and this may very well be a good omen next Saturday at Dia Del Diablo when he joins Tyler Parker, Lethal Consequences, DEDEDE, and Kevin Devastation in a match that will determine who goes to Pain For Pride and challenges for the World Heavyweight Championship! I cannot wait!
Masters: Well it looks like we're about all out of time, so signing off for Mak, I'm Masters, and we'll see YOU at Dia Del Diablo!
(Y2Impact triumphantly points up at the Pain For Pride Se7en logo as the camera fades to black)
(EAW Logo Buzzes)